way off target

You never know when a simple mundane task might become a convoluted undertaking. Although, I did have a suspicion my trip to Target would not be a normal visit. Target has been remodeling for a few months now. At this point I doubt they have any intention of finishing. A regional manager probably went crazy and vowed to keep the store in a continual state of flux. Every week a new section of the floor turns into a wasteland of yellow tape and scraps of paper. The former occupants of that section are moved elsewhere triggering a chain reaction of swapping and displacing until some poor section is left out. It's sort of like a game of musical chairs, except instead of music or chairs it's a kick in the nuts to customers.

I needed a screwdriver. Nothing fancy, just as screwdriver. In my previous visit I had found Hardware moved to the opposite side of the store; nestled in between baby products and what was left of men's clothing. Foolishly thinking Target lacked the audacity to move Hardware two weeks in a row I strode confidently to it's previous location. I found half of stationary and a few cleaning supplies but no Hardware. Men's clothing turned up several isles down but Hardware had vanished. I suddenly realized I had encountered a rare scenario where a Target employee would be easier to track down than the item I needed.

This epiphany lead me to speak with Target employee #1. She had no idea where Hardware had been placed and turned around to ask Target employee #2. He informed me that Hardware had moved to an unspecified quadrant of the first floor. Down I trekked, and wandered to no avail. Target employee #3 was of no help and turned to #4, #5, and #6 who were standing behind him. In turn they each offered guesses as to Hardware's current hiding spot. And in turn I informed each one that I had already checked that location. Employee #6 was then helpful enough to use her radio and contact a manager. Over the radio employee #7 explained that Hardware is where Health & Beauty used to be. No, that was last week, I pointed out. Finally, employee #8 chimed in over the radio and told me to go back to the second floor and check by Halloween. Back up the escalator and toward the glowing orange pile of cheap holiday decorations I ran. Beside it I found a single isle with selected hardware items. Tape, sealant, and bathroom accessories. Nothing more. All I wanted was as screwdriver. What happened to the rest of hardware?

Dejectedly I sought out Target employee #9. I passed by several fledgling employees before I spotted #9 dispensing wisdom to her underlings. Please, #9, where can I find a screwdriver? At this point I would have preferred one with orange juice. But, swiftly and graciously employee #9 lead me to the promised land. The rest of hardware had been placed along side Electronics and there before me hung an assortment of crappy Target tools. I felt like hugging employee #9 but she was in a hurry. I've never felt such a sense of victory after locating a common household item.