This blog entry is pieced together from various brief attempts to write. It's late, it's jumbled, oh well.

I am torn and distraught over my utter failure to blog for a so long. But, through the tears and gnashing of teeth I have managed to pull myself together for a short blog entry. Let's see, what have I been up to lately? Killing myself, mostly. Over the last two weeks I have spent enough time in front of my monitor that I probably glow at night. But, being the geek I am, this self-inflicted torture is kind of fun. Last wednesday my new computer arrived. New toys are always fun. This was also a chance to play with a new version of linux, a new video card and an excess of new software. But, amid the excitement were problems like open GL not working with RedHat 9 or my mp3 playing freezing up constantly. Pleasure and pain. I think it takes a mildly perverse mind to be a geek. Anyway, this has consumed most of my waking hours and eliminated most of my sleeping hours. To make things more difficult this has been one of the most busy times ever at my job.

But, it has at least kept me busy. The extra burden helps to drive back the avalanche of laziness which normally buries my life day by day. This makes for a happier week, albeit an exhausting one. I'm always surprised at how much my mood is affected by my level of accomplishment. After finishing a significant amount of work I'm happier and energetic. This generally results in further productivity. The difficult part is keeping this state. It's far too easy for some external force to interfere with work or some internal force to interfere with my mood. Then the cycle is reversed. I tend to start each day depressed that I have so much to do because I accomplished so little the previous day. This disposition has a shockingly negative effect on my productivity. The lack of work frustrates me which digs me deeper and deeper into the cycle. When depressed I am easily overwhelmed. So, how does one stay in a good cycle? I certainly haven't found the key yet. Discipline, I suppose. But, discipline requires routine, which tends to land life in a rut. Which is depressing. I was fairly disciplined and productive when I worked for Lawstar and had to come in at 8:30, but it was also one of the most frustrating periods of life. So, where is the magical balance? Or, will my life always tend toward one of the extremes? Well, that's probably more introspection than anyone wants to hear.

So, moving on to philosophy. Last week I noticed that Jenny had set her chat alias to "after the game the king and the pawn go into the same box". I've been reflecting on this interesting bit of wisdom. Do black and white pieces get along after the game? Does the defeated king, surveying his reunited army, think to himself, "what a bunch of numbskulls, no wonder we lost." Does the first pawn to die still hold a grudge against that sneaky bishop? Perhaps later that evening he and some of his pawn friends will jump the bishop and beat the crap out of him. Sneaky bastard probably deserves it.

Anyway, I'm in Ohio now. I've had many adventures since coming here, but I'll have to tell you about them all in my next blog.