way off target

You never know when a simple mundane task might become a convoluted undertaking. Although, I did have a suspicion my trip to Target would not be a normal visit. Target has been remodeling for a few months now. At this point I doubt they have any intention of finishing. A regional manager probably went crazy and vowed to keep the store in a continual state of flux. Every week a new section of the floor turns into a wasteland of yellow tape and scraps of paper. The former occupants of that section are moved elsewhere triggering a chain reaction of swapping and displacing until some poor section is left out. It's sort of like a game of musical chairs, except instead of music or chairs it's a kick in the nuts to customers.

I needed a screwdriver. Nothing fancy, just as screwdriver. In my previous visit I had found Hardware moved to the opposite side of the store; nestled in between baby products and what was left of men's clothing. Foolishly thinking Target lacked the audacity to move Hardware two weeks in a row I strode confidently to it's previous location. I found half of stationary and a few cleaning supplies but no Hardware. Men's clothing turned up several isles down but Hardware had vanished. I suddenly realized I had encountered a rare scenario where a Target employee would be easier to track down than the item I needed.

This epiphany lead me to speak with Target employee #1. She had no idea where Hardware had been placed and turned around to ask Target employee #2. He informed me that Hardware had moved to an unspecified quadrant of the first floor. Down I trekked, and wandered to no avail. Target employee #3 was of no help and turned to #4, #5, and #6 who were standing behind him. In turn they each offered guesses as to Hardware's current hiding spot. And in turn I informed each one that I had already checked that location. Employee #6 was then helpful enough to use her radio and contact a manager. Over the radio employee #7 explained that Hardware is where Health & Beauty used to be. No, that was last week, I pointed out. Finally, employee #8 chimed in over the radio and told me to go back to the second floor and check by Halloween. Back up the escalator and toward the glowing orange pile of cheap holiday decorations I ran. Beside it I found a single isle with selected hardware items. Tape, sealant, and bathroom accessories. Nothing more. All I wanted was as screwdriver. What happened to the rest of hardware?

Dejectedly I sought out Target employee #9. I passed by several fledgling employees before I spotted #9 dispensing wisdom to her underlings. Please, #9, where can I find a screwdriver? At this point I would have preferred one with orange juice. But, swiftly and graciously employee #9 lead me to the promised land. The rest of hardware had been placed along side Electronics and there before me hung an assortment of crappy Target tools. I felt like hugging employee #9 but she was in a hurry. I've never felt such a sense of victory after locating a common household item.

blog alterations

Due to the general flakiness of the server I was using for comments and the lack of certain features like entry titles and RSS feeds I decided to abandon the old comment system and template. The new one will be in flux for an unspecified period of time while I work on the look. The old comments are not visible on the blog but they have not passed away. If you feel that your old comments were so brilliant and insightful that it would be a crime to withhold your witty remarks the world I can dig them up and send them to you. Feel free to re-post comments. Stay turned for more updates.

gmail

I have 5 gmail invites. If you'd like one of them email me.

psycho ex-landlords

My old landlords are crazy, senile and greedy. I lived at 684 Locust St for four and a half years. During that time we complained about windows not shutting or locking, the doorbell not working, and the sink that barely drained. But the answer was always "it works well enough" or "it doesn't need to work". The only time Bill ever came over was when the bathtub faucet seal broke leaving water on at full blast. I called that evening but they didn't answer their phone. And they had no answering machine. I started calling early in the morning and finally contacted Nikki late that afternoon. She wasn't interested in calling a plumber and wanted to wait for Bill to get home. When I told her the tub had been running since the previous evening she yelled at me and asked why I hadn't told them sooner. I said I had phoned earlier to which she replied that she had been home all day and I was lying. Bill called me later that evening and said it was too late to deal with a plumbing emergency and that he would stop by the next day.

They would occasionally leave the hose outside running and flood the walkway in front of the house. Once Nikki came back later in the day, found the hose flooding the sidewalk, pounded on the door, and yelled at me for leaving it on. The reason they used the hose was because they were too cheap to install sprinklers to water the strip of dying grass between the sidewalk and the street. They were also too cheap to pay for separate meters for the back house's electricity and gas. Thus, we were stuck paying for our neighbor's bills. When we asked Bill and Nikki to compensate us for this they replied that the rent was actually $50 higher than stated and we were being credited $50 every month. And they claim to be honest folk.

They are typical slum lords in every sense. Bill and Nikki own most of the surrounding properties. In back of us are two tiny 1-bedroom units which contain large, extended families. Attached to the back of our house is a shed which they rent out as another 1-bedroom unit. All of them are filthy and falling apart. Most likely all of their tenants were, like us, enticed by the low initial price and didn't know enough to identify the red flags. Then the price increases rapidly while the quality of the residence continues to decline. Our rent went from $825 to $1100 in 3 years. There is expsoed wiring. Some of the electrical outlets spark when used. The window screens don't fit. The stove has no fume hood or ventalation. There are no working smoke detectors.

In all our time at 684 Locust Bill never painted anything. However, about two weeks after we gave a 30-day notice Bill moved his collection of painting equipment into our back yard. Without any warning Bill recklessly applied paint to the exterior of the house as well as several of our belongings which had been stored outside. When I confronted Bill with some of our paint splattered possessions his first response was, "that is not paint." Bill's intrusions became even bolder when my roommate was crassly awaken by Bill opening his bedroom door and walking right in. Bill later claimed that the front door had been left open, and another time claimed that my roommate had let him in.

Nikki stopped by to argue shortly before we moved. I asked her when we could expect to receive our deposit back. The conversation happened something like this (slightly abridged):

Nikki: Deposit? What deposit?
Me: Nikki, you know we agreed on a security deposit.
Nikki: You can't prove anything.
Me: I have our rental agreement.
Nikki: I didn't sign anything.
Me: You signed the agreement.
Nikki: You never paid it.
Me: Yes, you know I paid it.

She proceeded to curse at me, accuse me of fraud, and yell meaningless threats until I retreated indoors. This was the start of a tedious debate over my security deposit. I spoke with Bill when he stopped by but we was unwilling to give any answers until we moved out. After we moved Bill was hard to find and Nikki refused to pass messages on to Bill. This made things difficult because Nikki is especially irrational and Bill had forbade us from discussing money issues with her. According to Bill it is the man's job to make decisions and the woman's place is at home. Nikki displayed even more flagrant prejudices when I was vainly attempting to set up a time to meet with Bill. She claimed that we abandoned a mattress by the dumpster, which we did not. Her wording was (and I remember this exactly), "You left your trash for us to pick up. What do you think we are, niggers?" I asked to repeat what she just said and she did. I pointed out that this was a rather racist thing to say. She replied, "Oh, so now you think I'm racist?" Yes, Nikki, I do. And insane.

I had to make frequent visits to the old house in order to find Bill and set up a meeting with him. Nikki insisted that speaking with my former roommates was necessary before I get the deposit back. She refused to accept a signed letter from them claiming that I would forge it. She refused to speak with them over the phone insisting that I would have other friends answer it and pose as my former roommates. When I finally arranged a meeting with Bill despite her attempts to stop it Nikki showed up and demanded to see the IDs of my old roommates in case they were fakes. The other complication was that I wasn't able to send any of my demands to Bill or Nikki via mail until recently. Nikki steadfastly ignored every one of my requests for their address. We even had a police officer call them but she still refused to hand out their address. Bill finally gave in since I need to send him yet another document before he will consider giving me the deposit back. And he claims that I'll need to pay for the repainting that should have been done 4 years ago. And that I need to pay for replacing the carpet that he got paint on. This will probably require going to small claims court.

In conclusion never do any business with Bill or Nikki Vagenas at 316 W Colorado Street in Arcadia. They are dishonest, unscrupulous, and hateful.

i moved

I wrote a lengthy blog tonight but windows crashed before I thought to save it. Didn't I swear never to compose my blogs inside the browser again? I'm far too frustrated to attempt to compose the entire thing a second time. I should mention that I moved. Those to whom my physical location is relevant will receive an email at some point. The move has left me happier but exhausted. A housewarming party will happen eventually.