atm trouble

I've always disliked Bank of America. I don't like that they force you to go to the account holder's home branch to cash a check. I don't like that they charge $2 for the privilege of using their crappy ATMs. I don't like that they advertise free checking when it's not actually free. I will grant, however, that most of these policies are common to most banks (not WaMu). But, B of A adds in a special extra slap in the face by being assholes about it. I've had a B of A teller refuse to cash a check because my photo ID was clean shaven and I had stubble. I've had a teller refuse to cash a check because my signature was too sloppy (it matched, it was just sloppy). In fact, every single time I have ever walked into a Bank of America branch I have been treated as if I were a criminal. At least other banks smile and speak respectfully while they pull my pants down.

Anyway, yesterday I was heading out for breakfast and needed to hit an ATM around 8am, before banks are open. Washington Mutual's ATMs were all broken so I was forced to use one of the non-free ATMs nearby. Much as I hate B of A they were the closest bank and I was in a hurry. I agreed to the $2 kick in the nuts and waited for my money. But, much to my surprise, instead of giving me three $20 bills the ATM gave me only two and a half. What am I supposed to do with half a $20 bill?

After breakfast I returned to the bank thinking that the obviousness of this error would expedite it's rectification. That thought was dispelled before I even opened my mouth to explain the situation. Walking toward the teller with half a banknote I was met with a suspicious glare. I explained incident and asked for a full $20 in place of the erroneous half note. The teller responded by informing me that they require both halves of a note in order to provide a replacement. But your ATM only gave me one half; how exactly should I procure the other half? He said he needed to check with a manager. In hushed tones the teller conferred with a stern-looking lady in back. Upon returning he shook his head disapprovingly and said, "I'm sorry, sir, you need both halves in order to exchange it." Is this guy stupid, or just that rude?

I pointed out that if half a bill didn't count for anything then I still needed to be compensated for being shortchanged by the ATM. The teller snidely replied, "Sir, if you have a problem with the ATM you'll have to call customer service for the company that services the ATM." What the bloody fucking hell? Why the fuck should I care which company repairs the ATM when it's broken? It's B of A's responsibility to have their own damn ATM repaired. And it's B of A who owed me $20 not the ATM service company. But, the teller kept repeating that I need to contact that company. Ok, how? He didn't know. I suggested that the B of A staff call the company for me since I'd like to take care of this right away. He once again checked with the mean lady and returned with a disinterested "Sorry, sir, we can't help you."

That pissed me off. What a blatant disregard for responsibility. It's not like I'm trying to scam anyone here but I was being treated like a crook. All they needed to do was look at the security camera footage to see me with a confused look holding half of a $20 bill. I demanded to speak with the manager. The teller refused to call her over (and she refused to come even thought she could clearly hear my request). Instead he told me that if I want to speak with a manager I need to sign up with a different lady at one of the desks. I promptly added my name to the list and when the lady came up to me I said, "Hello, are you a manager?"

Another thing that slimeball companies do is avoid giving direct answers. The desk lady replied by asking, "Well, what do you need?" Why can't you tell me whether you are, in fact, a manager? Despite the fact that she ignored my question I calmly explained the incident and noted that the teller had been unwilling to aid me in resolving the problem. She told me that I was at the wrong desk and would need to see a different employee. After being passed around and telling my story a couple more times an older employee begrudgingly handed me a $20 and took the half note I was carrying around.

What a really shitty attitude. And it's not just the one teller I spoke to or the one manager he conferred with. There were supervisors sitting in plush desks within earshot of all this and they certainly didn't object to shitty attitudes these people displayed. How does a bank with that kind of attitude stay in business? Why do people open accounts with a bank that looks on customers with suspicion?