quick hide, freedom is coming

"Freedom is on the march," Bush declared today. So for all you Iraqis wondering about the camouflaged objects advancing towards you with M-16s: don't worry it's just freedom. Freedom is often accompanied by liberty. Liberty comes in both 0.5 caliber and 7.62mm.

Oops. Sorry, kid. Ya gotta move when freedom comes through. Don't want to get stepped on by freedom boots, do ya?. Hate to tell you, but your mom didn't duck fast enough either. Chewed on some liberty lead. Anyway your bandages are done, go outside and enjoy your new freedom. Just watch out for unexploded shells. And snipers. Second thought, stay indoors.

In fact, if you don't stay inside while the curfew (8pm-6am) is in effect you might have to be taken to the freedom jail. And don't drive near the borders. If you need to cross a checkpoint, then ... eh, just don't. Though if you should be caught breaking any rules I assure you that you'll be treated fairly and respectfully. We've implemented an efficient three-step procedure to ensure justice for each and every offending Iraqi. For example:

One Two Three

Well, try to get some sleep and make sure to avoid any rivers.